Welcome to the new efficient DoSS 2.0

From the office of the Minister of Truth and Other Information, Sir Alan Bladder, MP.
Hello and welcome to the new rationalised Department of Social Scrutiny website. I do hope you enjoy using it, within the agreed levels of excitement as outlined in the 2009 Draft Orange Paper Framework of Permitted Exhilaration. Now let me briefly outline why the new Government has decided to dramatically improve the web presence of the Department of Social Scrutiny by spending less money on it.

When we came into power, it was incumbent upon us to change the incumbent way of doing things, thereby creating an incumbency loop that changes things in the way that they have always been changed: the progressive status quo, the new same old, the static leap.

It’s an exciting prospect and I’m not just talking about a semantic shift of priorities, but a real movement, like a large and heavy box full of, for example, hammers. I might be new to this Internet 2.0, but I’m sure that even in a digital Britain, we will always need hammers and they won’t always be exactly in the place we need them to be and so need to be moved around, by the box load on digital trolleys. Staff here at the Department have now informed me that the digital trolleys that move information around the internet (I am told that http stands for ‘hi-tech trolley protocol’) were insufficient for the considerable demands placed upon them by DoSS 2.0. On the advice of senior officials, this department has now purchased a new set of trolleys (and forklift trucks for the ‘backend’ FTP) from the very latest Nigerian entrepreneur.

I do hope that you understand the enormous breakthrough the staff here at DoSS have made in explaining this to me. So, as we say on the internet ‘taut cables and super surfing!’