Here is the Shipping Forecast

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A note about the weather

British weather runs the gamut from mildly interesting to interestingly mild, but where does it all come from and why the south west?

These were the pressing questions that were to be answered by a parliamentary select committee formed for the purpose. In their interim report, MPs concluded that most British weather does indeed come from the southwest and is carried here by wind from the southwest.

MPs immediately saw the importance of wind and proposed a tougher regulatory framework for it. They felt that an over-reliance on weather from the southwest was anti-competitive and weather from other suppliers, such as the northeast, should be an integral part of the weather in the future.

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Members urged year-on-year improvements to the weather to make it more interesting and approved MONA - the Met Office’s New Age weather maps, surveyed using homeopathic theodolites and state-of-the-art witchcraft (above). They applauded the recent introduction of the hurricane to the climate, but felt there was no room for complacency and looked forward to more radical weather in the future. Members voted unanimously for less drizzle, though they did recognise it is an integral part of the identity of Manchester.

The committee then went on a series of foreign fact- finding missions to investigate long periods of unbroken sunshine.
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