I am out of my body as I have been recalled to my Mothership for de-briefing and recycling.

I will return at the commencement of the 14th b’ak’tun, Mayan long count calendar date of 13.0.0.0.1, where I will assume the form of a giant, genderless, methane-breathing seahorse and will rule for 144 days as Hippocampus Gideonii.

If your enquiry is urgent, please await further instructions from the Chancellor in your household refuse. If you have not thought to look through your bins for messages from the Government, I’m afraid that you are too mentally stable to talk to us.

Tags: Apocolympics