Are you a chinless sex-pest with wandering hands and a heightened sense of personal entitlement?
Do you follow a philosophy of self-enrichment through the medium of trouser-press purchase?
Would you be capable of throttling a pensioner if it was one of the conditions of entry into a tax avoidance scheme?
Has your taxpayer-funded property speculation made you into a scrounging tosser of the first order?
If ‘yes’ is the answer to any of these questions then we need you in the Selfservative Party. The Selfservatives are a like-minded group, a loose coalition, a fragrant collective of silver-tongued, soft-skinned kitty fiddlers.
Join us today; here at the Selfservatives, we are driven* by the need to help each other because, by doing so, it helps us help ourselves. Feel the camaraderie of a political party with real convictions (for fraud, gross indecency, perverting the course of justice and false accounting).
Join the Selfservatives today. Get in the trough because we’re all in it together.
*Although it was really our wife who was driving at the time.