Look what Europe wants us to decimalise now...

Decimal music is one of the unsung benefits of metrification, and is a great showcase for the simpler life of our European “neighbours”.

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It’s easy to learn and easy to play. Whereas the eight-note English octave leaves two fingers unoccupied, the 10-note dectave has a note for every finger. What could be simpler? It’s so easy, you could master avant-garde jazz using the fingering for Chopsticks or play Debussy by typing a company memo. This is the fun face of metric. It’s certainly more interesting than a kilogram.

We’re confident that, once you hear Grieg’s Base 10 Piano Concerto in H 0.75, you’ll be so impressed with the metric lifestyle you’ll never want to buy vegetables by the pound again.

An earlier version of the metric piano – one where all the black notes had been removed – was de-authorised following the same review of discriminatory EU Directives that reversed a ban on same-sex potato relationships, but an all-white keyboard was used extensively on the early albums of Richard Clayderman.

Eurotinklers-10-Forté make a range of Decimal Pianos, which can easily be identified by the words “METRIC PACK” stamped above middle C.