Website Announcement

You may notice some disruption to website service next weekend, as the Town Council is moving the entire site over to new hosts. This may mean that we disappear for a day or two and your browser will temporarily be unable to find us. This process will start at 12:01AM BST Friday Night/Saturday Morning and it may take up to 48 hours. Our aim is to minimise disruption as much as possible. Thanks for your patience. We should be back by 8AM BST on Monday. See you on the other side.
posted by Trepanning Town Council at 1:23 AM

Huge bribe secures Council decision to reject corruption.
New recommendations to combat corruption were passed unanimously at last night's meeting of the Town Council following a massive offer of money to do so from Crisis Management - the Council's finance and efficiency consultants.

Crisis Management's briefing document Back Yourself Out From Sticky Corners by Lubricating Your Staff and Greasing Your Own Palm was published last year in the wake of failed attempts to locate the physical end of ex-Councillor DeLorean's expense accounts. An expedition of accountants sent to track down the final figures of the disgraced official's books returned empty handed, though several species of small mammal and a new type of bamboo were discovered along the way by expedition biologists.

In a further change to hit the Parish Noticeboard, the man who looks after the drawing pins now wants Mondays off and wishes to work on Thursdays and Fridays instead. After a marathon debate, lasting 12 hours, the council agreed having reached a decision without the aid of financial sweeteners or inducements of any kind.
posted by Trepanning Town Council at 1:09 AM