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Based on this website, Britain: What a State is a send-up of an entire way of life. From the unique British class system to pubs and our beloved transport network, every element of our society is brilliantly explained and illustrated in a series of wincingly accurate spoof official forms from the DoSS.

Think The Framley Examiner meets the entire output of Her Majesty’s Stationery Office and you have Britain: What a State.


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The Myway Code Rule of the Moment: 97-98. Box Junctions

The VDLA, in its 'wisdom', has decided to rewrite the Highway Code after 75 years - in line with the rules commonly encountered on the nation's roads today. From now on, The Highway Code becomes The Myway Code and will be available from all good bookshops as well as these Waterstone's and Amazon links. (Open in new windows.)

Rules 97-98: Box Junction Regulations.
Update: Since publication, Transport for London have announced that the whole of Central London is to become a Box Junction and vehicles will not be allowed to enter it until their exit is clear unless they are four wheel drive Chelsea Tractors and they have a statutory obligation to be complete and utter tossers, in which case, they are free to drive around like they own the place, as usual.

97. The chess approach.
Primarily used when a black cab (Rook) seeks to turn right behind a white van (King) that is also turning right, but from the opposite direction. The opposing pieces negotiate the junction using an obverse castling move. There is a time limit – controlled by lights – and the Dragon Variation of the Sicilian Defence is allowed.

The Myway Code states that all other vehicles turning right should be regarded as Knights, and pedestrians as hapless pawns.

98. The go approach.
Becoming increasingly popular, this approach to box junctions stems from the ancient Chinese game of the same name – a board game broadly based on the principles and strategies of war. Many so-called road rage incidents have lately turned out to be little more than impromptu go tournaments fought out where multiple rights of way have not been codified since ancient times.

A classic go strategy would seek to remove rights of way from other drivers by the careful placement of traffic cones and diversion signs on the junction. In order to win, you must pull strings with the appropriate highway maintenance agency in advance of approaching the junction.

In order to win this junction, you must mobilize the orange cones to surround the yellow ones while retaining influence with the appropriate highway agency.

 


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The Department of Social Scrutiny's guide to your entire life in Britain. Includes all necessary tax and identity card application forms and a full guide to the British public transport system, as officially sanctioned by Notwork Rail.

Plus: New retirement guide "Are You Alright, Dear", handy graduated tea strength colour matching chart and official guidelines for the consumption of cake, biscuits and other snacks served at ambient room temperature.

Britain: What A State

 

�Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain.� Charlie Brooker
�If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up.� Sunday Telegraph Magazine

Posted by: Sir Edward Bicycle on October 25, 06 | 11:32 am |

 

 

 

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