The Department of Social Scrutiny

“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”
Complete Archive

March 2010

Geoffrey Hoon sacked and sacked again, just for fun.

March 2009

How to protect your data (from us)

September 2008

Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude

August 2008

New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy

November 2007

HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us

August 2006

Frequently Asked FAQs

July 2006

Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education
Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data.
Your Money and Your Life - Part 2
The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station.
"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar.
About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6

June 2006

New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression"
K-ID Cards.
Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face.

April 2006

The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service
The DoSS Local Election Guide
The Pensioner Appraisal Programme

March 2006

Habeas Corpus 2006

February 2006

Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out.
Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy
In Felicity Benefit
About You: Your brand new Identity Card form.

January 2006

New Year ushers in new flag to stir youth patriotism.

December 2005

Merry Christmas: You're Fired.

November 2005

New Government Logo Makes Everything "Alright" Again

October 2005

Government open new Jobcentrehassleplus centres.
Friendly Guide to Britain Now "Mandatory".

September 2005

New tax leaflet issued as deadlines approach.
Application to Buy Book Issued
British Table Manners - Part I: The Specialist Cutlery Guide

August 2005

The Story of Alternative Britain.

July 2005

Your Money and Your Life.
2012: London Olympics to Introduce New Sports Events

June 2005

Government Shelves Id Cards, Introduces Ego Cards Instead
ID Cards "Will Not Lead to an Orwellian Nightmare", Says Citizen 447T/236496QH-Delta

April 2005

Blair calls election to become Pope

February 2005

Food safety fears expressed over "Fishish Fingers".
Government Response to Charles and Camilla's Wedding
Updated Travel Advice for Mars, as Beagle Inquiry Concludes
Government Replaces Incapacity with Imbecility Benefit

January 2005

OffRail - The New Railway Regulators.
Transitional Irritation Allowance - updated.
East Anglia Launches "Operation J-Lo"

December 2004

How to eat cake, introductory notes.
Notes on tea drinking (continued).
Leaflet tackles thorny issues of etiquette

November 2004

Blunkett orders his own detainment as ID card law introduced.
It's deadline day, not flatline day.
The All-new Anti-Digestive Biscuit
Congratulations: You're fired.

October 2004

Windows for Warships: Crash Report
Price Dive at Sub Sales Supermarket.
DoSS Launches New Customer Service Charter.
UK Identity Card help issued.

September 2004

Sir Crispin Tarmac speaks: How forms work.
How to make money in Britain.
Situations Vacant.

August 2004

Tax Office: Your application for mercy
Ethical values - what you must tell the Government.
Transitional Hovering Disbursement Relief Announced.
Sky unveils the secret of its success.
Heatwave melts parts of UK website.
L'Orgarnelline Facial Fortifusion

July 2004

Government launches tea leaflet in case of emergencies.
Bus Service Information
Notwork Rail publish emergency rail and tube map
New road sign definitions published
Freedom From Your Money
New Identity Card anti-form released.
European decimal piano unveiled
DoSS take over official publications.
Social Scrutiny Almanac - July 2004

June 2004

Tube Strike Wednesday: Download the Emergency Map
When Longshore Drift Goes Bad
Massive roundabout product of surveying error.
World's largest animated gif woos London crowds.
DoSS takes on Adult Education
Big Brother wins contract for Iraqi dispute resolution
Queen to get new Identity Card
Madonna adds further name to identity crisis.
Britain swelters in heatwave as transit of Venus fails to provide any shade.
Election Apathy: Can you be bothered or not?
Tube strike fears eased by emergency map
Government health chief: transit of Venus not safe to watch, "even on TV".

May 2004

BNP announce "we hate everyone".
Government denies subliminal advertising to Bank Holiday traffic.
Royal Mail privatisation abandoned.
Big Brother Black Friday - the new face of Reality TV.
London Art Fire spreads toxic cloud of conceptualism over capital.
Beagle 2 - too "irredeemably British to succeed", according to report.
Train strike to be foiled by "removing rails" say Network Rail.
Government issues guidance for emergencies leaflet: d0n7p4n1c.
Tony Blair and Fathers 4 Justice - the historic analysis.
ID Card Application form - Part 3 now online.
Never mind the Mirror: Blair, Parliament and democracy pictures "a hoax".
Sasser Worm: New steps to take to protect your PC.
ID Card trouble ahead as Al-Qaeda model TaliRaybans.
Donald's Dictionary: Rumsfeld's Words of the Day - Abuse and Torture.
New Head of MI6 moves in, but still refuses to pay rates bill.
Daily Mirror photos genuine, "newspaper fake", concur media experts.

April 2004

MI5 and DoSS issue new security advice to business.
MI5 security advice for business.
David Blunkett's ID cards "not sufficiently Orwellian enough" says David Blunkett.
Before the machines scorched the sky.
Tony Blair unveils new attitude to critics
Tony Blair's attitude to criticism worsens.
Tony Blair calls for EU referendum on joining Britain.
Arafat hands control of Florida to Cuba.
I slept with David Beckham, claims Victoria Beckham.
Marbeck pleads for privacy from front page of newspaper.
Beckham claims Loos texts were "ghostwritten".
MOD admit Chinook helicopter contract "did not specify flight".
Blair takes to military uniform.

March 2004

Eliminating the vegetarian threat.
Qaeda deputy's tape calls for more US influence in the world.
EU required to "unbundle Scotland" in Microsoft counter-suit.
Opportunity finds nicer beach on Mars.
Railway infrastructure to be "split down the middle", Darling.
Tony Blair "lied about being Prime Minister".
Gordon Brown's Budget "unfathomable nonsense", according to commentators.
New reality TV gameshow to distribute welfare payments.
EU Microsoft sanctions halted by "self-aware" PowerPoint presentation.
Minister outlaws satirical websites.
Home Office detains Foreign Office.
Minutes of the MI5 recruitment panel.
Prime Minister and Opposition Leader clash over official Inquiry.

January 2004

Government declared "not to blame" for failure of their policies

October 2003

Opposition Leader raises profile by resigning.
Senior Ministers found with heads stuffed up rhinoceros arse.